Feeling awkward as the only one without a “plus one” for your BFF’s wedding? You don’t need to.
by Jen Kucsak
“So, are you married yet?” asked an older woman who appeared to be in her mid-60s. A long lost relative that I’ve never seen or heard about before. From what I knew, which was absolutely nothing about her, she was a complete stranger.
“No,” I happily replied.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked.
“Uh, nope. No boyfriend either.”
“Oh” said the woman, as her voice suddenly grew deep with disappointment and confusion. “Well, that’s alright. I guess things are different these days. Let’s keep in touch, dear. It’s a shame that the family only sees one another at funerals. Hopefully next time will be your wedding!” she exclaimed, as she grabbed me and gave me a big hug and then walked away.
Yes, I’m 26 years old. And no, I do not have a boyfriend. Which means most likely, I’m not getting married anytime in the near-distant future.
There’s a group on Facebook I recently joined titled, “All my friends are getting married. I’m just getting drunk.” Of my high school graduating class of 2000 and my college graduating class of 2004, Facebook tells me a sizeable percentage of these kids are in long-term relationships, are married (or will be soon) and have kids (or will be having them). I seriously question whether this is a matter of their being more grownup than me or whether I’m complacent in just being perpetually single as the old woman who will literally live in her shoes. (And damn nice ones, might I add).
So while many of my friends out there are getting married, there are a few other adventures I want to have before I start on the “Big One.” Even if it means that I’m that token friend at weddings. (You know, the drunk one with the Peter Pan complex.)
I want to start my career and make some money so that I can save up for my dream wedding at a castle like I always imagined it. Travel the world. And last but not least, to live on my own without any attachments. I think that everybody should be acquainted with not only the real world (the actual real world, not the TV show), but especially themselves. Because if you don’t know who YOU really are, then most likely somebody else isn’t going to, either.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that the people who marry young are going to get divorced. Or are idiots. But I do think it’s just a factor of when you meet the right person. Some people meet them very young. And some meet them later in life. There’s nothing wrong with either one. But just make sure they are “The One” and not “the next one.”
So, for the meantime, don’t worry so much when you’re “that guy/ girl” at your best friend’s wedding who decided to go solo. Because most likely, everybody there who’s married is going to envy you.